Tuesday 22 September 2015

The amazing egg race

Image result for eggs with facesWALT: think about my purpose and reader by planning my recount.

Has your teacher ever given you some egg friends. Well on the 21st of september our teacher came to school with egg friends and a egg freind holder device. It sounds weird but it's not our teacher bought our egg friends for an experience which was super fun and super scary. Read on and find out more.

As you already know that our teacher Mr Goodwin brought to school some egg friends. In room 6 when Mr Goodwin brought and showed us the egg friend we were all wondering why he brought them to school. I thought we were gonna boil it but then he explained what everyone was doing today. And so what he was explaining was that we were gonna do a experience with our little egg friends. But first we had to get into pairs and draw a face on it . I was with olivia we named our egg friend Jonah Lomu Jnr because we drawed him that little piece of hair that would stick up.

When we all finished giving our little friends a make over we had to quietly walk down to the park. I was really scary walking down to the park from class because we had to hold him carefully before we drop him and all his yoke come out. When we all made it to the park our teacher a egg freind holder device. Then he explained that we are gonna have a egg friend race. After he gave us our egg freind holder device we had to go to the start line which was the first end of the park near the kindergarten.

“On Your Marks Get Set GO” as soon as he said go everyone panicked and some were very confident and just boosted of the line. On the way to my partner I saw people dropping their egg friends and got very emotional. I was very very funny scary and egg smashing sounds. When I got to the side we had to pass it over to our partners waiting for us on the other side. I was scared that Olivia would drop the egg but then I had faith in her that she won’t drop the egg.

Overall that experience was by far my favorite experience ever. I hoped that you read on to the end of my writing and loved this piece of writing.    




Recount Writing

1
2
3
4
Write for my reader
I've tried to think about my reader
My writing shows some awareness of reader because my writing is quite clear and I have tried to interest my reader.
My writing is easy to understand and I have tried to tell the reader what it was like to be there by giving details and my thoughts.
My writing really considers audience as reader because I have kept their interest and made them feel like they know exactly what it was like for me.
Purpose
I tried to meet the purpose
My text goes some way towards meeting the purpose
The message is clear in some parts of the recount.
My text fully meets the purpose.
The message is clear all through the recount.
Introduction
My introduction does not yet clearly orientate or hook in my reader.
My introduction gets some buy in from audience and they can understand what I am going to write about.
My introduction hooks in my reader and it is clear what I am writing about.
My introduction wows my reader!
Paragraph Topics
My paragraphs are confused and don't follow my plan.
I have tried to follow my plan.
Most my paragraphs are about 1 big idea and I have added some detail.
My paragraphs have some complex as well as simple sentences. Post paragraphs give details about 1 big idea.
I have followed the paragraph topic in my plan.
My paragraphs have complex and simple sentences. Paragraphs all give details about 1 big idea.








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